Update

Welcome to my life's update post!

The past weeks have been about the journaling challenge so I haven't written about how I am and how I've been feeling. 

I've been feeling great! I don't think there's another word for it! My life is pretty much the same but I've been trying to live it more! I've been going out, going to concerts, I've been meeting new people (a very out of the box thing for me) and more and more I want to do all of these things. When I stay at home I always get that feeling that I'm missing something (FOMO maybe?!). 

I think I'm starting to be the Teresa I was two years ago but more thoughtful. More mature I think. I'm not scared of meeting new people but I still feel that I have the walls up around me. I'm still afraid of getting hurt again so I always keep my distance. I'm not scared of going out again and I enjoy it but I tend to be more careful. But I've been enjoying a lot being with my friends and having lots of fun with them. I didn't know how much I missed it. I didn't know how much I missed them and the good they make me. 

And the concerts I've been going? You know when you listen to a song and it inspires you and it touches you? They way it makes your arms hairs bristle? Capitão Fausto's concert made me feel that way in April and Ganso's concert also. I feel that there's a before and an after in my mood regarding Capitão Fausto. Their new CD touched me in ways that I can't describe. 

I've been listening to music a lot more now. But a lot more. And I've started to listen to Arctic Monkeys again and I just want to listen more and more and go to more and more concerts! How I missed this. Really. The more concerts I go, the more I want to go! This weekend I'm going to see Capitão Fausto again! I guess music is a very important thing in my life and not being able to listen to it was something that was really bothering me.

However, the path is not strewn with roses! I've been having lots of difficulty in writing for work. My psychologist says it's not lack of concentration, that my problem is that I want things perfect and that I still don't feel that I'm capable to do things that way so I tend to procrastinate. It's been a struggle really. That was the only thing that made me cry and feel miserable since January. It's an internal fight and I feel that I'm not winning. But I've been trying to work it out. But it's taking too long. And I get more and more impatient. But, I feel that I'm going to be able to get over this. I've already gotten over far worse things, this is going to be one more.