Fulfilled

We're entering on the last week of the challenge! And today's question is:

On what topics do I need to learn more to be able to live a more satisfied and fulfilled life?

I guess the only thing I need to learn more now is to love and to trust myself. That's what's holding me back now. I know that I've talked about this a lot here already but it's something that I'm still learning to do. And even though I've been noticing that I've take a few steps forward regarding this, I do know that I still have a long path to walk to reach the point that I believe I need to reach. 

When you don't trust yourself you don't do anything right because you're always questioning your decisions. You're never sure of the right decision to take and when you do decide on one you're always questioning yourself if that was the right one.

I think that my need to know how things end before reading a book or watch a movie comes from this. And last week I've made something that I've never did. I went to watch the Avengers the Endgame movie without knowing anything about what was going to happen. Normally I've already seen some spoilers on the internet but this time I didn't. And I loved it. My heart was in my hands the all time and I was so nervous during all the movie but it was worth it because everything was a surprise. Good or bad. And I enjoyed it. 

Loving myself is something that's hard for me to do. I always tend to get me down for anything. And it's hard when everyone sees something in me that I don't see. I don't see the person they describe. I only see my flaws and I know that I tend to make them bigger than what they are but I just can't help myself. It's stronger than me. I also believe that this lack of love has something to do with the lack of trust or vice versa. 

It's hard to be like this and I know that I need to change because this does not only affects my personal life but it also affects my work life. If I don't trust in me I'm not able to defend my decisions because I'm always questioning them. That's the reality. But I'm really making an effort to change this and I honestly believe that I'm better. I don't know if it shows.