Unconditionally

One more day for this challenge to end! For me it seems like this has taken forever! But it's almost one month of writing everyday instead of writing every other day (even though you still read the posts every other day because of the posting schedule!). So, for the 21st day the question is: 

What would I do differently if I loved myself unconditionally?

I would trust myself unconditionally. And I do believe that by trusting on myself unconditionally would make things be very differently. Maybe by trusting on myself I would be able to trust my decisions, to trust that everything that I do is the best thing to myself. Maybe I would be more confident and not scared of taking a stand now and then. 

I guess that everything is connected to what I wrote in the last post about what I would tell to my old self from ten years ago. I would be more open. Maybe I would let more people in and not be scared if people didn't like me. Other people's opinion wouldn't mean a thing for myself and wouldn't hurt me so much as they do now. 

Maybe if I loved myself unconditionally it would be more easy to fall in love because I wouldn't be so scared of getting hurt as I usually do. Because I have a tendency to trust a lot in other people and I always find a way of getting hurt. 

If I loved myself unconditionally maybe this depression wouldn't have happened because I wouldn't have let anyone hurt me or say that I'm less than what I am. I wouldn't let someone make me believe that I'm just a shitty person and that I have no value. 

Things would be a lot more easy for me if I loved myself unconditionally. But I don't and I have to live with myself. Even though I'm trying to love myself more, it's not easy. Not easy at all. Some things are so deep-seated inside me that I'm having so much work to get them out. And sometimes I just feel like giving up because it seems that I'm being attacked from everywhere. And it's hard. But I'm fighting against everything now and we'll see where this is going to end up.