End of life

New day here! I'm having a crisis with lack of concentration and I believe it's affecting what I write here on the blog because it's been hard for me to develop the themes I'm writing about. I thought it was only affecting my work but I guess it's affecting what I write here too. Most of the times I don't feel like writing and I thought that it was because I'm feeling better (there's a post coming on this topic) but I guess it's the lack of concentration. I've been making an effort to keep writing here everyday and to write for work but it's been hard. Everything seems like a good thing to do instead of writing. 

Without any further ado today's question is:

How did I like others to remember me at the end of my life?

Even without the lack of concentration I believe that the only answer would be "she was a great person"! 

I just want people to remember me as someone that was nice, a friend of her friend, always available to help other people and someone with a big heart that loved most of the people that she knew. Because that's how I see myself. I really believe I'm this person and I want people to see this in me. But I really don't think people see me this way. I guess I'm too closed on myself and maybe I don't let other people in. But that's because I'm too afraid of getting hurt. I still believe that everyone I meet is going to hurt me in one way or another. And I still can't find it in me to change this. 

Some people want to change the world, be a hero, make a difference. And of course I also have that dream but my negativism never lets me dream with this, it makes me believe that my life is going to be completely normal and that no one will notice that I left this world. I don't let it control me but it does scares me sometimes. Sometimes at night just right before falling asleep this thoughts come to my mind and sometimes they are overwhelming. 

But yes, I really just want people to remember me of someone special. Someone that touched the hearts and lives of the people she knew. It might be impossible but that's what I liked.