Bad luck

Do you believe in bad luck or do you believe that what happens to you happens because someway you made something that led to that happening? 

Sometimes I believe I'm the most unlucky person that is! Sometimes it just feels that what can go bad just goes bad no matter how hard you try for it not to go bad! And it seems that it's like a domino effect! I'm in one of those times! Something bad happened and since that it seems that only bad things happen to me! In my personal life, in my work life, everywhere! 

I don't want to go into details because I'm still not ready to share somethings but when all these things happen it just feels that they are bigger than the good things that also happened. But maybe that has to do with the way I see things. I tend to give more importance to bad things rather than to good things and of course that when something bad happens I will only see that and ignore the good thing! I'm trying to change my perspective but sometimes it's just hard because all of my insecurities come to the surface and I get stuck there. It's like a loop. Did it happen because I did something wrong? Because I said something wrong? Because I should be different? And even though I now know that I'm not supposed to think like this but sometimes the way somethings happen make me still think like this. They make me doubt myself and they make me sad and down again. Something like that happened this weekend and I'm still feeling it this week. I'm sadder and disappointed. Disappointed with myself because I tried and tried not to be like this again, not to believe that I could be happy again and for a quick second I did and as things went south I found myself in a bad place mentally. It just showed me that I still have a lot to walk through. And as that happened some more bad things (in my perspective) also happened and I guess that's way I'm a little down now! 

I guess you can see my mental state when you're reading this. It's not the best one at the moment but I'm doing my best to get out of it and to be happy again as I was one week ago! And this is only going to teach me that I need to trust my instincts. I really do! 

I might share what happened I'm just not ready at the moment!