Death

Day 5 here. 

I opted to let day four just for myself. The challenge was to make a list of questions we need and answer urgently. Even though the questions I have are not that personal, I feel at the moment that it's something I should not share. It's in my draft list and maybe one day I'll share it.

And today's question is: How should I live, knowing that I will die?

This one is not that hard even though I really don't know what to write. Does it make sense? Probably not! Well, the first thing that comes to my mind when reading this is that I should live the same way I've been living. I know I'm always complaining about everything but my life is not that bad. I'm very lucky with my family despite all the problems and with my friends. 

But I guess I would change a few things. Maybe try to live more, seize the day, instead of just letting the days pass by as sometimes I do. We should live our lives the best we can. We only live once and we shouldn't regret anything and, in my opinion, it's worst to regret something that we didn't do than something that we did do. Because when you don't do something you will always think what could have happened if you have chosen differently. Sometimes it doesn't change anything and sometimes the path is worse, but you did it and you will know that you did everything that you could have done. I'm at peace with all the choices I've made. Even if I would change some of them, at least I will die knowing that I tried my best and if things were not the best it wasn't because of me. I really believe that thinking like this has brought me peace of mind and has made me so much stronger. 

Now I really try to do everything that I want to do and I accept whatever it comes of it with my arms open. Good or bad. Somethings already happened in the last week and the outcome was not the one that I wanted but I'm so okay with it. I guess that if this had happened one year ago I would be crying a lot and be suffering a lot. But I'm not. Don't get me wrong, it's not a good feeling, but the difference is that by accepting things you just don't suffer more than what you have to suffer. And in the past I used to suffer a lot more than I should. I don't know if my heart has grown a little bit colder, but whatever it was, I think I'm happy for it. I was tired of getting hurt.

The trick thing is that question is that we are already dying! That's the one thing we cannot change! So, if we're already dying why don't we live our lives like the answer we are giving to this question? Why wait? The future is now and we have to do everything we can to make sure we are happy and that we're living our lives at 100% and not at 45% like I did. We have to do this for ourselves and not for anyone else.