Spring

So Spring is here. My favorite season of the four. During Spring everything seems different. The color seem to change, the days get bigger and bigger, the hour changes and, at least to me, I feel lighter. That's how I see Spring since I can remember. 

This year I was a little apprehensive because I didn't know what to expect. Autumn and Winter were very hard to me. I know that they happened while I was going through what I think it was the worst phase of all this, but I feel that they also had an influence on how I was feeling. Shorter days and rainy days don't help someone going through depression. The days also seem to be darker during those seasons. Even when it's sunny it seems to be darker than in Spring or Summer. To me it felt that I was underwater during those times. And the truth is that I've been feeling better since the days are getting bigger, coincidence or not. I was apprehensive because I always thought that when Spring came I would get better and I was scared that this wouldn't happened. I was putting more pressure on me because of this. I still am. I'm still scared of getting worst. And the fact that this week I've been feeling worse is not helping me with this fear at all.

But I'm positive that with bigger days and better weather things will kind of be a little bit easier to overcome. Sun and warmth have always helped me. A warm sunny day was something I would dream of during winter, just being able to feel the warmth of the sun on me and on my face. And now we're again on that time of the year so, even though I'm a little bit worse this week, I've been happier and I've been feeling lighter. Maybe it's all psychological but even if it is it has having a positive effect on me. But I've always heard that Autumn and Winter were not good friends of people with depression and I felt that during those two seasons. 

I know that I'm not going to be better just because it's Spring now! But if Spring can help me get better why not be happy about it? Things seem so much happier in Spring! Flowers start to appear, the birds seem to sing more and it's the season before Summer! Spring is the best! So I'm welcoming Spring with both arms opened but I will not stop all the work I've been doing because that's the main reason I've been feeling better!