Photographs

So I've finally went through all the photos I had on my phone. Normally every two months I pass the photos I have on my phone to an external disc where I keep everything that's important.

Since May that I didn't do this. I had lots and lots of photos. When I arrived from England I just couldn't care less about it and then it was hard for me to even think going through all of them (I like to organize them in folders). They reminded me of a time when I was happy and just the thought of reliving those days was painful, so I let them stay on my phone. But it was like the phone was heavier just because it had those photos. Even so I let them stay. 

This was always on the back of my mind. Knowing the photos were there. During Christmas as I was feeling better I thought of taking them out but I kept pushing that. Then on New Year I was down again so doing that was a big no! This week I just thought I had to do it. I couldn't keep pushing it, In a way it was holding me back and everytime I went to my photo album on the phone I would look at one of those pictures by chance and it was so uncomfortable. So I did it. I was already feeling down because I had this weird dream with Fluffy so I thought I should take the chance! 

It was not easy I have to admit. But I think it was just because all of those photos remind me of times when I was really happy with everything. But I did it. And in the end I felt so much better. I felt sad but it's a sadness I can live with. I think I'm used to it now! Maybe one day I can look at those photos and not feel sad. They are memories. And I have to accept them!