Music_2

Music has been helping me a lot. In the past weeks I've been going to a lot of concerts and I'm really enjoying them. Normally I'm the one that wants to go and I'm always excited to go. It's a change! I want to go somewhere, I'm not going just because someone pushed me to go. 

I've been listening to new things and it has helping me concentrate in my work. That didn't happened in a while. I've always studied and worked while listening to music and just like everything I was used to do, I had to stop listen to music while working or studying because I just couldn't. I couldn't concentrate, I would just start crying. Now, I've been able to do both things and listening to music. I just have to know what music to choose and everything goes smoothly.

I still don't listen to most of the things I did last year. I can't let myself do it because I'm scared of it. I'm scared that it's going to trigger some memory that's going to make me cry and feel down. I still don't want to face that if you want to put things that way. I hate it because I love what I was listening to but I can't do it. And I'm really scared that if one day I want to see those bands live I will start crying. I think that I'm going to see what happens sooner rather than later because I might go to a concert of one of them in the next month. I'm trying not to think about it and I'm trying not to let this prevent me from going. I can't. If I let this happen I will let the depression win and I can't. I need more victories on my side. 

I'm trying to build new memories, my memories, with the new things I'm listening and I'm trying to build new memories with the concerts I've been going. It's a change from what I did last year. I'm trying not to repeat the same mistakes anymore. I can't say this is the right formula, but at least if I fall it won't be for the same reasons. And just like this time I will be strong enough to get back together on my feet.