Fluffy

One of my cats has died. And I feel broken inside. I know that most people don't get the love I feel about my cats. They think it's stupid to feel this broken just because one of them died. But to me they are family. They are just one more member of our family and we spent everyday with them. And when one of them gets ill and then dies I think I can feel broken, sad. I'm so sad. 

I cried so much when she went to the hospital to stay there for the weekend because she was too weak. I couldn't remind of feeling so desperate, so helpless. But I tried to kept hope that she would get better even if everything in me told me she wouldn't. And when I got the news I cried and I felt my heart break again. All over again. But this time I knew that one little piece of my heart would be forever broken. 

Fluffy was the sweetest cat that I've ever met. She never bit us or tried to scratch us. She loved everyone. She was the smartest of them all. She loved to be by herself and she would normally be on my mom's bedroom. She loved my mom. And when I think that I'll never see her again, that I'll never see her on the kitchen table after dinner waiting for my mom to sit there and pet her, that I'll never hear her in the middle of the night trying to fit in whatever bag that was in my room, I feel so much pain. 

It hurts me to think that she died alone without us by her side. I don't want her to think that we abandoned her like someone had done when we found her. I hope she knew she was loved. That everyone that met her loved her and cared for her. That she helped me a lot during this year. She helped me calm down a lot. She brought me an immense peace when she was around me and she only had love in her eyes when she looked at us. 

I'll keep her forever with me.