Mário

Mário was married to my father's cousin. But he was always more than just a cousin to me. He was like an uncle. He was always there when I grew up. He was always present at every event I had. School plays, concerts. Every little thing. And he would also call me everytime he knew I had an important exam or something like that.

They always spend a few weeks in the Summer with us! It was chaotic but I loved it! The house was always full of people! There was always something happening and I had lots of fun! And Mário was so fun! I laughed a lot with him and he was also very kind and sweet. Everyone that knew him loved him. He truly cared about everyone. He had a gigantic heart and I always felt so lucky that I had a little space there.

Mário was also the first person with depression that I had contact with. I never understood what he went through because I was very young. He had lots of ups and downs, and when he was down he was really down. And it was so hard to see him like that. To see him cry and to see him desperate. And I didn't know what to do or how to deal with that. And I loved him when he was happy (I loved him either way) and it would break my heart to see him like that and to know that I couldn't do anything to help him. 

He called me every week when I was in England. Just to know how I was. Just to know if I was really okay. And I feel so guilty because he called me a day before I leave England and I didn't answered because I was so heart broken that I couldn't talk to him. I knew that if I did I was going to worry him because I was going to start to cry and I didn't want that because he was so happy. And I feel guilty because that would have been the last time I had spoken to him. He died a few weeks later. And it was sudden I wish that I had answered that phone call. I wish that I could speak to him one more time just to say that I really miss him. But I was so devastated the day that he called that I couldn't talk to him. I know that we don't know when it's the last time that we're going to talk to someone. But I know that if I had answered that call that I would have spoken to him. And that he had something nice to say to me. I just didn't want to worry him. 

"In the end, my dear sweet friend, I'll remember you." - Bob Dylan