Grandparents

I've always had a very close relationship with my grandparents. All four of them. And I was lucky enough that I got to meet all of them and to have them around for more than 22 years. 

My mother's mom, grandma Teresa, was the one I had a more close relationship. She died in 2010 and I miss her like hell. She was not a very affective grandmother but I loved our relationship. I didn't need to talk for her to understand how I was, how I felt. Most of the advices she gave me I still follow them. And I think a lot about what she would tell me now if she was alive. What advices would she give me? Sometimes I think that she would tell me something like "you have to be strong and you can't stay that way", but I also know that she would support me in every way she could. I wish so many times that I could be able to talk to her again, and in a way I can't forgive myself because I didn't say goodbye to her. I always thought I had one more day to be with her. I didn't. But I keep her memory alive inside of me and it hurts me that my younger cousins will never know her the way we did. 

My father's father, Quim, was the other grandparent I was very close with. I loved him. Unlike with my grandma Teresa, we were very different. We would sometimes get into big fights because I didn't agree with some of his opinions! But he always respected me and he never tried to change my opinions. He always defended me from my parents! He would always take my side! I miss him. A lot. I miss the smile he would give me when we were "fighting", like he was proud that I was defending my opinions.

Grandpa Bernardo was my mom's father. I had a close relationship with him as well. He was like a hero to me. I always wanted to be like him. I always look up to him when I was growing up. And I remember how funny he was and that he always tried to play with me when I was little.

Grandma Nandinha is the one that it's still alive and she lives with my parents now. I was very close to her when I was younger, but growing up we weren't so close. Now that she's living with us I try my best to be close to her and to talk to her. And I think we're getting there! 

All my three grandparents died in three consecutive years and that was very difficult for me, mainly because my grandma Teresa died in September and Quim died in January of the next year. Those months were horrible. 

I miss my grandparents a lot and now more than ever I question myself of what would they do if they were in my place and if they are proud of me wherever they are. I like to believe they are.

“Since you went away

The days grow long

And soon I'll hear

Old winter's song

But I miss you most of all

My darling

When autumn leaves

Start to fall” - Autumn Leaves, Frank Sinatra