Christmas_2

Christmas has passed. It was hard as always but this year I think it wasn't as hard as it normally is. Or at least it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. 

We always have the house full of people. Both my uncles come with their families (one of them from Rome with my aunt and cousins and the other from the south with his stepdaughter and her family), my mom's aunts with their daughters and grandchildren. We are always 20 or more. I like having the house full of people. It's good and distracting, even though it's a lot of work for two days! 

I love my family despite all the arguments we have! I think it's normal and I'm used to it! During Christmas we always spend a lot of time at the table. On Christmas Eve we start the Christmas dinner at around 20.30 and we never leave the table before midnight. Which is great because it's on time to start opening the presents! And on the 25th the lunch never starts before 15.00 because my uncle loves to cook and he always makes these elaborated lunches that take forever to be ready! And we never leave the table before 18.30! And I love that. I love being there and talk to people. Listen to all the stories they have to tell! Some I hear them every year, but it's always good to hear them one more time. And my cousins are now in an age where they also like to talk and it's so nice to observe how grown up they are. 

This year I tried even more to be active in the conversations and I tried to talk with everyone. My phone was always in my bedroom and I didn't even missed it. I noticed that since the weekend I use it less than the normal. But I'm at home so I don't have to use it when I'm feeling down or when I feel .out of space. I'm in my safe place with the people I love and trust. And that was what happened during Christmas. I spent time with the ones I love. And the ones I know that love me back no matter what. No matter what I do and what decisions I make. And my support comes from these people. I know that they will always have my back. 

I thought about my grandfather as always, And I thought how happy he would be to see his house full of people. He loved having people and he loved Christmas. This year he would be 90 on the 25th. I missed him a lot.