Christmas dinner with friends

This past weekend I had a Christmas dinner with my friends from home. There were going to be concerts all day and night (my cousin's band was going to play!) and I decided that I should go. My best friend is always saying that even though I think I'm not a good company, that I am and that she wants to spend time with me either way. 

My cousin told me to stay at his house because I didn't want to stay at home alone and I accepted! I went to see my cousin's concert and the others before dinner! And I was feeling great! I was happy and I felt like a weight had left my shoulders. During dinner I was talkative, I laughed a lot, I made people laugh and I actually had a great time like I didn't have in a really long time. I really don't remember the last time I felt so happy. I didn't check my phone all night unless to see if my cousin had texted me to go home. We played games, we exchanged gifts and during all that time I felt like my old self. 

I got more nervous at the end because I had to go meet my cousin to the bar where he was and I was a little nervous because I was going alone and I always get nervous when I have to go somewhere full of people alone. But it went great! I knew half of the people that were outside and it was good because most of them asked me how I was and told me to go out more! I saw friends that I haven't seen in a while and that I really miss. I was there only for half an hour but I really, really enjoyed that time, and it seemed like nothing had changed.

In the end I walked home with my cousin and I laughed a lot because he always has something funny to say! He asked me a million times if I was really okay and he made sure I was okay. 

I know this doesn't seem important, but to me it is. This happiness I felt is not normal in the last months. Feeling like my old self was amazing. I miss that. I miss me. I miss going out and having fun. I miss dancing and I miss my friends. Most of the times I really don't think I'm a good company and I think that it's better if I just stay at home instead of ruin other people's night. But, I think it was important to me to go to the dinner even though I couldn't sleep at my house. It showed me that I still can have a great time and that I can be the person I was one year ago. I can be happy again. And the happiness I felt on Saturday spread through Sunday, it wasn't as big as Saturday but I don't remember having such a happy Sunday at home.