Anticipation

I've always suffered for anticipation. Always. Since I can remember. Whether it is because of the result of an exam or because something important is going to happen, I always suffer. 

I'm one of those person that likes to read the end of the book before reading the book, or likes to know what happens in the movie before watching it. I try not to do it but most of the times I fail. I hate surprises. I hate not to know what's going to happen. I hate that I can't control most of the things in my life and when I can control them I try to not let things change and I try to keep them on the path I planned at the beginning. I also fail at that! But that's how life works! We cannot control everything. Even when we're dealing with something that we control, most of the time, things are not going to work the way we wanted! And when we don't control something we just have to wait and ee where it takes us! 

I know I'm saying something that I believe but I don't practice! I try to though. I really try. I really try to let things go the way they have to! That's why I also try to keep my expectations low. I try not to expect something from a situation because if I do I'm going to suffer until the result. And if things go my way I suffered in vain, and if they don't it's better to suffer only in the end and enjoy the path that took me there! 

So I'm going to keep on trying not to read the end of the books or find out the end of the movies before watching them and to try to not suffer for anticipation! I'm going to make an effort! I'm not going to promise anything, only that I'll do my best!