Wanting to get away

In the past few days the feeling that I don't belong anywhere is getting bigger. I feel I don't fit anywhere, that I don't belong anywhere. Everyone around me seems to have a place somewhere. Seems to fit in anything. I don't. 

In the beginning of this year I loved Porto. I loved my house here. I loved living here. I had plans to make my house better. I was making plans to live here permanently. Now I kind of hate this town. Sundays are the worst day of the week because I know I have to come to Porto. And Thursdays are the best because I go away. And this makes me sad because I've always loved Porto. It was my favorite town in Portugal and it was the place where I always wanted to live. And now I can't wait to get away from here. I know it's just the memories. I know that it's because it reminds me of times when I was happier, of times when I had hope that maybe I could be happy. 

Sometimes I think I would be happier if I could just erase the past few months of my head and return to the person I was one year ago. Full of dreams and hope. 

The only dream I still let myself have is the dream that maybe one day I could go and live in Rome. I love that city. You know the feeling when you go somewhere and you feel like you're home? Like you belong there? I felt that the first time I went to Rome and I feel that everytime I go there. I love Italy and even though right now some parts of the country are "ruined" for me, I really could see myself living there and being happy there. That's the only dream I let myself have. The only hope I can have for now. It's not going to happen in the near future but maybe someday it will. I can have this dream right?