Social media

I've always loved social media. It was always a "place" where I would caught up with what was going on with friends I don't see that much, where I would see what was happening in the world. Lets face it: it's easier to see what's trending and what's going on on facebook and on twitter! I never watched that much tv! 

I spent June and July in England alone, it was very hard for me and it was one of the things that made me get worse. During those two months I know I got dependent of social media. I was always on facebook, instagram and twitter. It was easier to talk to my friends and to have a home feeling. And in a way it started to be an escape. It was my home away from home. 

Now I know that whenever I start to feel sad, I start to want to cry, I always look for my phone and I always go to social media. It's my escape, it's my safe place when I'm not at home. I notice that when I'm at home I don't use my phone as much as when I'm in college or somewhere I don't feel "safe". I'm really trying to stop doing that but it's been a hard thing to do. It's like breaking a habit. I even have my phone in "not disturb" mode so I don't even hear when it has a new notification but, even with that, I always tend to look at my phone every 20 minutes. I know it's not good but I've been doing what I can to try to stop but I think right now it's like a drug I can't live without. I've been using less of that drug but I can't stop using it. Not for now. 

I've thought of ending my accounts on social media but I can't! Just as simple as that. I can't. I still need them to know that if I'm not feeling well I can go there and check them and try to clear my mind. And it's not only social media. Whenever I'm feeling down I tend to use the phone to message my friends and my brother. That way I have another escape!